The Journals of Lord Pyrus
by Demented Assassin
Summary: Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance arrives in a new world and must survive on only his wits against all manner of dark foes. He records the progress of his mysterious campaign in a small journal... Updated as each day is played in-game.
1. Days 1 to 4

**Day the First,  
**Well, unlike my last entry into a world my landing here was far less painful. I suppose I should be thankful for our recently developed teleportation technology, it's far more efficient than being dropped from the stratosphere and left to plummet until the ground arrests your descent. I broke one or two settlements on past worlds in that manner. Enough of that though, this is a new world and I need to learns its ways quickly if I am to triumph in our duel.

The first thing that strikes me is how...blocky this world appears. The creator, whomever they may be I forgot to read the briefing, seems to have a passion for straight edges. Not that I disagree with their choice, after all considering some of the worlds I've been to, who am I to judge? It does make it much easier for me to acquire materials from which to construct a shelter. Fortunately the materials here seem as pliable as they are strong and given enough time I can beat my way through them with my hand. This is not something I intend to do for long however, even a being such as I has no desire to feel pain when a better option is available. As such I have managed to craft an axe and have set to work plundering the local trees with the intent to build a small hut from where I shall begin formulating battle plans...beg pardon, the sun is setting and I think I can hear something rattling behind me...

-Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.

**Day the First and a Half,  
**So, it appears that at nightfall this world spawns creatures of varying descriptions and power and each shares the sole intention of slaying intelligent life. At the moment, that life appears to consist of me. Upon being greeted by a bow-wielding skeleton at the conclusion of my last journal entry I hastily abandoned my plans to construct a shelter from scratch and ran for the nearby cliffs, taking care to adopt a random flight pattern so as to avoid an arrow through the spine, or any other place for that matter. I am now writing this journal entry from the relative safety of a small alcove I have dug into the mountainside. Though I have packed the entrance with dirt, sealing myself in the dark, cramped space I managed to hollow out before more of the undead showed up, I can still hear them groaning and clattering about outside. Without a suitable weapon, or even my usual powers, I am doomed to cower here with only some tightly packed mud to protect me.

I have a feeling this may be the start of a long night.

-Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.

**Day the Third,**  
After spending a rather uneventful (which I am grateful for) and strangely oxygenated night in my little hide-away I swiftly came to the conclusion that a stone cave would grant better protection than a wooden hut and that immediate expansion of the premises was required. As such the vast majority of the past two days has been spent carving out a room for myself and my workbench, which revealed a welcome vein of coal which I have used to create torches, allowing me to work throughout the night and stave off the unwelcome presence of the mobs outside. The slaying of a few wandering pigs during the day, a time in which the night's monsters seem to cinder under the sunlight, soon sated my growing hunger and I found that my new wooden sword was surprisingly more deadly than I anticipated. Evidently this world operates somewhat differently to those I have visited before.

Much of this evening has been spent heeding the growing headache from the ringing of pickaxe on stone, primarily by turning my attention to the forging of various useful tools and the construction of a furnace for smelting materials and cooking meals. It seems I have also inadvertently discovered that sand can be smelted into glass. Once I begin finalization of the outer walls I shall have to see about having a window put in. The view outside of the small garden bordered by towering cliffs and overhanging stone arches is a rather pleasing one, even to a being such as I.

For now, I shall rest...or perhaps expand upon that rearmost staircase and the impromptu basement it is leading in to...

-Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.

**Day the Fourth,**  
The basement has received significant expansion and I can occasionally hear the groans of the undead through the rearmost walls. I suspect I am close to one of their lairs and for now have halted my progress here, at least until I am better equipped. The staircase has been widened and is very pleasing to the eye I must confess. I have also knocked out a side room just to the left of it where I have placed my pair of furnaces.

Back in the main room I have gone far enough up that a second floor has come into the equation, with a stone staircase leading up to it. For the sake of variety this room, which will serve as my eventual bedchamber, will be made of wooden planks rather than the cobblestone which has been used so far. I will be placing a window here and on the lower floor, allowing some measure of light in. I think a small bed and a storage chest, along with some railings by the edge of the floor, will add suitable finishing touches for now.

-Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.


	2. Days 5 to 13

**Day the Eighth,**

It has been four days since I last wrote in this journal and those days have been filled with work. With my house completed, at least for now, I have been making small excursions into the surrounding area, exploring and seeing what resources, and enemies, may be waiting for me. In the mountains around me I have located two small cave systems in easy reach, one of which I have marked with torches and left alone for the time being as there seems to be little in the way of resources inside. The second I have concentrated on more and a tunnel has been dug through the entire base of the mountain, bringing me out to a shoreline on the other side of the island. While these is little of immediate value there it is useful to have an escape route should I ever require a swift departure from my homestead.

I brought large quantities of seeds back with me which I have since used to plant a small crop field. Railings have been put up to keep the local wildlife out and a trench has been dug to allow water to irrigate the crops. The water does not flow as far as I would like it to but it serves it purpose for now and will remain a problem for another day. I have also worked to plant fresh trees to replace the ones I have cut down; one of these has since grown to an impressive height just inside the entrance to the valley which I call home.

Speaking, or as the case may be writing, of home I have dug away much of the immediate ground around the doorway to my house and have built a stone bridge in its place which, considering its narrow breadth, I hope will cause difficulties for any monsters attempting to chase me inside (there have been a number of close scrapes as of late).

-Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.

* * *

**Day the Eleventh,**

I will admit, things could have gone better these last few days. In my attempts at scouting the wider world around my little hideaway I have found my progress hindered by the indefatigable creatures that stalk this world, nature's constant perils and the sheer stupidity of wandering this world without a GPS. Suffice it to say although I have discovered many a new island with biospheres far different from the one in which I made my home, I have also managed to get myself thoroughly lost in the great watery wilderness; this latter issue gave me many a headache and required numerous nights spent in a hastily-constructed shelter as the undead walked the earth. Eventually I found myself beaten back by the hordes and had to flee, abandoning my carefully protected equipment. Fortunately I managed to find my way home the next day and, as poorly armed and exhausted as I was, it was a welcome sight to see.

However it appeared my trials were not yet over for outside my door, staring pointedly at the rudimentary pit I had constructed as if to say "Is that the best you can do?", was an adolescent wolf. I considered making my way around him but that would have required some excessive climbing of the local mountains and the braving of many a perilous drop and after everything I had been though this was the last thing I wanted to attempt. My sword had long since broken and, as the piercing blue eyes watched my every movement (I swear he had a bemused expression), I rummaged through my belongings in a desperate attempt for a solution. I had long since consumed my last porkchop but after my many nights of flight I had gathered a small batch of skeleton's bones from my midnight foes. I decided to toss one his way and he took it almost immediately, gnawing at the thing with unbridled intent.

I took the opportunity to slip past him and stumble exhausted inside my house, turning around to close the door only to find the wolf sitting at my feet with the bone at his paws. I very nearly swung my battered pickaxe at him in desperation but he barked almost joyously and pranced around the room like he owned the place. I slowly began to reconsider splitting his skull open and eventually decided to let him stay. A useful companion would not go amiss and he made no effort to follow the last of the bones that I tossed outside. Instead he barked again and tossed the first one I had given him in the air, before laying down in the corner of my house and watching me bad-temperedly gather the scattered bones up with what I swear was silent mirth.

It is taking the last of my flagging energy to write this from my bed but I have decided that my efforts at exploration must continue and in order to further these efforts a second secure location is required from which to base my operations. With this in mind I have begun to visualize potential building sites; the one that strikes me as the best so far is a beach nearby that, with a little work, will function as a solid base for a new watchtower. I think I'll begin work on it tomorrow.

-Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.

* * *

**Day the Thirteenth,**

I awoke this morning to the clap of thunder and the steady pounding of rainwater striking the walls of my abode. This is the third consecutive day of rain which has led me to believe this world has entered its rainy season. What was at first refreshing has since turned to annoyance as I can only stare outside my window and watch my carefully maintained crop field steadily becoming waterlogged. Still, I've refused to let it hinder all of my work and, despite the treacherous conditions, have commenced work on my beach watchtower. Crafted in a fashion not unlike those I have encountered on other worlds, the tower will function as my first military outpost, as well as a beacon guiding me home once I begin my explorations further afield.

Being built on a beach with limited building materials has caused me to use a few layers of compacted sand in a mound-like fashion to form the base of the tower. The remainder of the tower's main body is currently being fashioned by wooden logs. By nightfall I intend to craft a roof of wooden planks, run a ladder up to the next floor and place a trapdoor both for easy access and protection. The main door to the interior of the tower I am having to be primitive about and pack with dirt as the door I had originally crafted does not fit as intended. I think this is a problem I shall attend to later once the battlements and observation spire have been completed. For now, I shall close my journal, don my watery hood and return to my endeavours with the tower's construction.

-Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.


	3. Days 15 to 19

**Day the Fifteenth,**

The tower is complete. The battlements, with the base floor crafted from wooden planks and the outer, defensible edge built up of stone, are as secure as I can make them with my current designs. The edges of the battlements are ringed by stone slabs, set at intervals so as to allow me, and any army I acquire, strong sightlines combined with adequate protection from arrows, siege missiles and torsion propelled cows.

The observation spire proved rather fiddly to construct due to the height of the structure. Whilst building the base and walls was a simple enough task, the placement of the glass around the watchroom required some temporary scaffolding to be placed in the form of multi-storey gravel blocks. Unfortunately these had to be constantly torn down and rebuilt as I worked my way around the edges of the tower. The stone roof fell prey to the same issue and more than once I came close to losing my balance and plummeting to a messy death that would most likely involve a rather satisfactory wet splat upon impact with the ground...but I digress. Dying in such a fashion, and only two weeks after the commencement of our duel, would doubtless be a cause of great amusement for my old foe.

Still, the tower is done and I now have a home away from home, as it were. Only that damn door needs fixing, the loosely packed dirt keeps letting in an awful draft. For now I shall leave Ice, my wolf companion, on guard duty until I can set about experimenting with a solution; unfortunately after all that work I am in sore need of some relaxation and there is a freshwater pool further down the beach that is calling to me.

-Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.

* * *

**Day the Seventeenth,**

Today I encountered a new type of foe. Not unlike those infuriating Creepers in appearance, but unlike the unidentified green substance and gunpowder mix normal Creepers seem to be comprised of, this one appeared to consist of dirt. This became all the more apparent when it exploded and case great piles of the muddy substance in every direction. Fortunately I had already abandoned the local area with great haste and my robes were spared the necessity of being cleaned tomorrow. The new piles of mud had to be dug through before my journey into the newly discovered cave system could continue.

The cave system revealed itself when I attempted to set aside a bucket of fresh water from the pool I had been intending to bath in, the strange physics of this world requiring me to drain the source of a waterfall in order to quickly erase the flooding of the lower caverns. Doing so has revealed to me a plentiful source of iron and coal, along with a massive, waterfall ridden cavern which looks somewhat treacherous to explore. Still, I shall attempt this on the morrow. Hearing the moans of the undead below me is making me long for the ability to utilize my old powers but for now, I must rely on iron alone. It feels good to have a metal blade in my hands again, that wooden one I had to make do with on my first days here kept begging to be set alight...

I still haven't had that bathe...

-Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.

* * *

**Day the Eighteenth,**

GOLD! After many countless hours of exploring the caverns and getting hopelessly lost, then found, then lost again I have struck that most prized of minerals! The gleaming yellow veins sparked a similarly greedy gleam in my eye I must confess, at least until they were all safely stowed in my Bag of Infinite Dimensions. It was a challenge in and of itself finding the precious metal but to my surprise (and annoyance) the greatest challenge proved to be extracting my haul from the cavern's embrace. And when I finally did locate the waterfall that sent me down this far in the first place, I struggled to make headway against the rushing current. Just as I was beginning to get frustrated by my slow progress and began considering mining a set of rudimentary steps up to the exit by way of my skull dashing the cobbles to pieces, I stumbled across something rather strange.

It would appear that whilst immersed in water I am immune to gravity on this absurd world as by attempting to swim nearer the waterfall I actually swam up it. This startling factoid came at great relief to me, allowing me easy access to the cavern entrance and saving my skull the disputable pleasure of being used as a blunt instrument, not unlike my time on Salvos-7. Making short work of the swim I stopped to gather a significant quantity of iron I had missed on the way down and swiftly made my way back to the watchtower as night began to enshroud the land.

All in all it has proved to be a day full of wonders and treasures alike, not least of which was GOLD! As a matter of fact, in recognition of this great achievement I hereby decree that this day shall ever henceforth be known as the Day of Greedy Rejoicing, to be marked every passing year...come to think of it I don't know how long this world's years are.

Ice is laughing at me again, I can see it in his eyes...

Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.

* * *

**Day the Nineteenth,**

If yesterday was the day of Greedy Rejoicing then today was the day of Unmitigated Disaster Accomplished by the Most Ironic Means Possible, or perhaps simply the Cursing and Swearing of Death Oaths Against All That Dare Anger Lord Pyrus and Eliminate Themselves in Order to Forestall his Eternal Wrath. I will have to weigh up the merits of these individual titles later and turn my attention to the business at hand instead.

The watchtower is no more. A fiery, blackened crater sits where it once stood, a monument to the universes unforgiving and brutal sense of ironic humour.

It happened this morning, just as I was setting off on my way home to stash my new GOLD! supplies up at the cave house. No sooner had I opened my door (by which I mean cleared out the mud) and taken two steps outside than what I can only assume was a Creeper detonated off to my left. The initial deafness, pain and flying-until-arrested-by-tree wore off quickly and I soon realised that this Creeper must be of a new variety as it had left a ring of fire around its explosion site. Being no stranger to the flames I promptly stepped aside and turned to survey the damage, expecting to find a small crater, a possible need for some mild repairs to the outer walls and the dying embers of the flames on the ground.

Instead my eyes were greeted by the sight of my entire outer wall burning away merrily, the fire spreading from wood block to wood block at an unprecedented rate. In the time it took me to realise what was about to happen my razor-sharp mind had formulated a solution. I panicked with the most expedient efficiency and promptly dove headfirst into the nearby sea, filling a pair of buckets with water and struggling back to shore in sodden robes and cursing my foolhardiness. Desperately drowning the wood in water did little as the impossible liquid flowed everywhere but atop the flames and much of the fire had made its way upward, reaching the uppermost bastions of the tower and demanding that I jump and desperately toss water at the logs, only to miss, craft a mini-waterfall and wash myself away in the chaos.

By the time it was over the entire main body of the tower had crumbled to ash and even part of the observation tower had fallen victim to the roaring flames. Ice had fortunately managed to make his way out of the inferno and for once did not offer a sarcastic stare. Despondently I have salvaged what I can and abandoned the tower, retiring to my house and hoping fervently that my foe is encountering just as many trials and tribulations as I.

-Lord Pyrus of the Second Order of Pervasive Balance.


End file.
